Throw Me a Line and Bring Me Back Home
by Sapphire Ox
Summary: Shoichi remembers Jin and how he was, who he used to be. He knows he's still there, in the darkness he's fallen into. And one way or another, Shoichi will find him and bring him back from that darkness.


**Throw Me a Line and Bring Me Back Home**

* * *

Jin's been talking about Duel Monsters for a while, so as a gift for his sixth birthday, Shoichi goes out and buys him a starter deck.

He's not really into the game himself, and not many play using physical cards anymore, but it's what Jin wants, and they can't afford those new VR systems they're coming out with, so he'll settle with teaching his brother himself. Besides, at his age of ten, where most other kids are also getting into dueling, he has a better grasp on the mechanics of it all than their dad.

"No, Jin, not like that," Shoichi says from where his position, the two of them sitting at the coffee table with a playmat and several cards set out between them on the surface, the guide booklet open in Shoichi's hands as he points at where Jin has set down a monster horizontally.

"You can only summon it in defense position if it's face down," Shoichi explains, turning the monster card correctly, "Or once you've already battled and now you're in the Standby phase. The first time you summon it, it has to be in attack mode."

Jin just nods, eager to soak in this knowledge of Duel Monsters. He looks down at where he holds his cards in his pudgy fingers, and sucks in his lips in contemplation as his wide grey eyes scan what he has in his hands. He looks back up at Shoichi in curiosity.

"How do I know if a spell card's going to work better in my hands or on my field, Aniki?" Jin asks.

Shoichi shrugs, "It depends on what the effect is. Some effects can only work once you've put them down in the card zones, and some of them will be better if you keep them in your hands. It can be risky, though, because it all boils down to having them at the perfect moment."

Jin pouts at the response. He looks back at his cards, and Shoichi can see the gears turning in his head, trying to come up with a good strategy using what he has, what he knows so far, only to drop his shoulders in frustration. He looks up at Shoichi with tear-filled eyes.

"I can't do it, Aniki," he sniffs, "It's too hard."

Shoichi just smiles. "You've only just gotten a deck. No one expects you to be an expert right away. You'll get the hang of it, I know it."

Jin looks at him with doubt. He asks, "Really?"

"Really."

He might as well have said that he just one the four rarest decks of all time, because Jin instantly brightens up, and gives him a great big smile, his chubby cheeks round and red. His eyes grow to the size of rice balls and sparkle. He looks back at his cards with a newfound confidence, and holds them up like he's playing poker and he has an ace up his sleeve.

"Okay, Aniki, I'm ready to get the hang of it!"

Shoichi laughs. He wishes he could go through life with as much optimism as his brother.

"Good," he says, and holds the guide up in front of him, "Now, let's see if you can show me how to do a successful tribute when you want to summon, let's say, a level eight monster…"

* * *

Over the course of about a month or so, Jin's dueling does improve, and it's not long before his deck practically becomes a part of him; he takes it _everywhere-_ to school, to restaurants, to the playground, even to the library when he accompanies Shoichi on his trip to having to find certain books for a project. Jin claims that it's so he always prepared in case someone wants to take him on. Oh, well, they're his cards. If they get damaged or stolen, it's his lesson to learn.

He's particularly favorable to the newest summoning method. Link summoning, is what they call it. Personally, Shoichi doesn't see the appeal of it, since they don't even levels that you can use when it comes to summoning other kinds of monsters (even XYZ monsters' ranks you can turn into levels if you have the right spells), but Jin manages to get one in at least once every time he duels, from what Shoichi's seen. He has to admit, he's gotten pretty good at it.

"How come you don't have a deck of your own, Aniki?" Jin asks one night when they're in his room, him sitting crossed legged on Shoichi's room, flipping through his cards.

Shoichi shrugs from where he sits as his desk, his math homework open in front of him. "I dunno. Never really cared enough to have one."

"What if someone wants to duel you?"

"Then I could just use someone else's."

It's not that he doesn't enjoy dueling or that he's bad at it, he's just always been of a tech guy. More into things like computers and software and coding and how they work and stuff like that. He's always heard stories about building their own websites and wants to try it out for himself one day.

Jin seems to accept this answer, and for a few minutes he's silent, continuing to shuffle through his deck.

"I like dueling," he says, "It's really fun. I want to be a pro-duelist when I grow up."

Shoichi raises an eyebrow in amusement. "Oh, really?" he says, "And how do you plan to do that?"

"I wanna compete in one of the tournaments!" Jin exclaims excitedly, "That way I can get lots of money and see all the cool duel monsters and cards that people have and win a trophy!"

He suddenly looks back at Shoichi.

"You…do think I'd be able to win, don't you?" he asks.

There's an air of shyness in his voice that usually isn't present, save for when Jin meets a stranger. An undertone of self-consciousness. He's curled in on himself. It's understandable- he's only six, and at his age it seems like anything is possible, and yet at the same time everything is impossible.

With a light chuckle- he can't help it, his brother's behavior is honestly a little adorable with how pitiful he looks- Shoichi gets down from his chair and walks over to the bed. He pulls himself up to sit beside Jin, and puts a comforting hand on his head.

"You know what I think?" he says, "I think the minute you'd step into that arena, you'd have them all quaking in their boots."

Jin gives him a look of doubt. "You mean it?"

"Sure."

Shoichi then ruffles his hair roughly, a cheeky grin across his face. "After all, who could stand to see a face so ugly?! Though I'd suppose seeing your dueling would help make them a little fearful too."

"Hey!" Jin whines, smacking his hands away, "I'm not ugly!"

"You could've fooled me!" Shoichi teases.

He quickly slides off the edge of the bed as Jin lunges for him, and they spend a good five minutes running around the upper level of the house, Shoichi cackling while Jin calls after him, yelling that he was _not_ ugly and that Shoichi was just being mean, before they both end up right back in Shoichi's room, collapsed upon the floor and out of breath from both their chase and their giggles.

Still, though, Shoichi thinks his brother's taken what he says to heart, since he later goes to tell Jin goodnight, only to find the young boy curled up on his bed, fast asleep in a pile of his cards.

Shoichi smiles softly at the sight, and quietly treads over. He picks up the cards and organizes them back into the deck and sets them on top of Jin's nightstand, before throwing a blanket over Jin and turning out his lamp.

If he could have just half as much determination that his brother has for becoming a pro-duelist, then maybe life isn't so bad after all.

* * *

One morning, Shoichi wakes up feeling strange. There's a weird feeling in his gut that puts him on edge for some reason, like something's up. As if telling him there's something that's abound to go wrong. What it is, he doesn't know. All he knows is that it's _there._

"Dear, why aren't you eating?" his mother asks him.

They're gathered at the table in the dining room, breakfast plates out in front of them. Jin, like always, has his deck in his lap, and he shuffles through looking at the card art as he eats. Shoichi looks down to see his own plate has barely been touched, most of his food he's just cut into smaller and smaller pieces.

He's tried taking a few nibbles to at least get something in his stomach, but the weird twist in his stomach makes it lurch. It's not necessarily he feels nauseous or that he's going to be sick, but it makes him uneasy. He feels like he can't relax, because there's something that's about to happen, that the other shoe is going to drop anytime.

"Oh, uh, I-I'm not hungry," he quickly says to his mother.

She eyes him for a second, but dismisses it- probably just a small bug- and turns back to her own plate. Jin is oblivious to his behavior, his attention solely focused on his lap. Shoichi shifts, unable to will the strange feeling away.

It's like anxiousness, similar to the sinking feeling you get when you walk through a haunted house and you're anticipating someone to jump at around the corner or pop up in a window or suddenly whisper in your ear; you know what's going to come, but they still manage to catch you by surprise.

The problem is, though, Shoichi doesn't know what's to come. All he knows is that ever he's gotten out of bed, he's been feeling off. He's distressed but he doesn't know why.

He's momentarily distracted from it when his mother rises from her seat and makes the both of them help her clear the table before she orders them to get ready for school, and then when him and Jin meet up with their friends as they walk. But later, when he's in class, it comes back at random, taking his attention off the teacher and whatever explanation he's in the middle of.

He looks out the window. It's a clear day, the sky a bright robin's egg blue and the few clouds present are like puffs of cotton candy in the sky. The grass outside is a healthy shade of emerald green, and the spring flowers dot the landscapes in beautiful splashes of violet, red, and orange. It's a beautiful day, nothing in sight that would indicate anything suspect is about.

So why does he feel like it's all a cover for some big catastrophe that's just waiting to come crashing down upon him?

It stays with him throughout the day, following him around like some sort of little shadow. There are times he temporarily forgets about it, but then he has moments when it pops back up- when he uses the bathroom, as he eats lunch, while he tries practice problems out on the chalkboard. It doesn't let up, and Shoichi still hasn't figured out why it's even there by the time school lets out.

"Aniki," Jin calls to him later when they're back home.

Shoichi lifts his head; he's seated at the dining table, his math textbook out in front of him as he tries to figure out the homework that's been assigned to him. He's trying reading and rereading the explanations three or four times, but it's just not clicking.

Jin stands on the other side of the table. Just like always, his deck is in his hands, and he holds them up to his chest protectively as he stares at his brother with wide grey eyes.

"Do you wanna go to the park with me?" he asks, "Kichirou-kun says he just got a new expansion pack and he wants to test it out."

Shoichi blinks at him, before looking down at the work in front of him. He's been at this for a good twenty-five minutes, and yet he's only got four problems done. It's due tomorrow, and from the formulas they've been learning, he doubts he could get it all done within the small window of time they have getting ready the next morning.

He sighs. He wants to, if just for the temptation that a distraction would provide, but he can't afford to keep slacking off on his assignments. (He's still amazed their parents didn't outright murder him, from the way their eyes bugged out the last time they saw his report card).

Instead, he shakes his head. "Sorry, I can't. I'm busy."

Jin pouts in disappointment, but doesn't try to sway him. He just sags his shoulders and silently makes his way to the hallway to put his shoes on. Shoichi cranes his neck as he watches him go.

"Wait a minute, you can't go all by yourself!" he calls.

"My friends are coming here, I already told Mama!" Jin answers.

As if on cue, he hears the sounds of kids babbling occur near the front, the open windows allowing their voices to stream in. A second later, there's three light raps at the door. He hears Jin open the door and greet his friends, before it closes a second later.

The strange feeling is back. There's something about Jin leaving that suddenly puts him on edge. Shoichi frowns, eyes lingering on the spot his brother had just been. Whatever it is, the nagging feeling makes him uneasy again; his stomach does flip-flops and his heart starts beating a little bit faster. He frowns and tries to ignore, tries to focus on his homework again, but it itches at him like a bug bite.

What's the big deal? Jin's just going to the park with his friends, they've done it plenty of times. Nothing out of the ordinary. So why is he suddenly feel like the whole world's about to end?

It isn't until later in the evening he finally realizes why it's there.

But it comes all too clear, way too late.

Because the whole world _does_ come to an end. _His_ whole world comes to an end.

Because Jin never comes home.

* * *

Shoichi sits at the top of the stairs, just out of sight from where he could possibly be seen by his parents or the cops. He hugs his knees to his chest, anxiety make his heart hammer in his chest as he listens to the heated conversation going on in the other room.

His mother is crying, barely holding in her sobs as the police try to explain what's going on.

"I assure you, Kusanagi-san, we're going to do everything we can to find him," the policeman says, "Now, is there anything else you can tell us, anything that may give us some clues as to who took him and where? Possibly where we could look if it turns out he went wandering off on his own?"

"We already _told_ you all that we know," Shoichi's father snaps, though his voice is more tired and it sounds like it's more out of desperation and fear than annoyance, "What about the other parents? They were the ones who were supposed to be watching him, where were they?!"

The police officer responds calmly, "We already talked to them. They all say the same: that Jin was with the other children the entire time, and that he disappeared right around the time they were getting ready to go home."

"And let me guess, they took 'their eyes off him for one second' and then he was gone? I don't buy that for one second! You're telling me no one saw anything, not one suspicious person or one glimpse of him leaving?!" Father exclaims, his voice high pitched with panic.

Shoichi bites his lip, and his grip on the pegs of the railing tightens. He's never heard his father sound so distraught before. It makes the fire of anxiety erupting in his belly ten times worse.

Tears prick at his eyes at the sound of his mother's sobs.

"This is all my fault," their mother comments in a thick, cracked voice, "If I had just agreed to go with him, i-i-if I had just kept an eye on him when he left, m-maybe I would've, I-I-I would've seen something-"

She can't finish her sentence before she breaks out into a new wave of tears. Shoichi can just faintly hear his dad attempting to comfort her, though his whispered reassurances are deafened by her harsh wails that echo throughout the entire house.

Shoichi's vision grows blurry before the tears spill over, making wet, warm streaks cascade down his cheeks. He holds back his own cries that make the lump tighten in his throat at the sound of his mother's despair, his chest feeling like it's about to burst with what he's holding in, but he wants to hear more, wants to know all that he can. His parents sent him up to his room when the cops came, but Shoichi isn't about to just go to bed and fall asleep when his little brother is out there, missing.

The cop speaks with his parents some more, but other than a few other meager bits of information that don't sound very useful, they don't get anything that sounds like it's going to bring them closer to finding Jin. Shoichi ducks out of his hiding place and quickly retreats to the very top of the stairs when he hears the sound of rustling and feet on the hardwood floor.

"So what do we do now?" his father says as their voices become louder. Shoichi sees his shadow on the wall, which means they've come in from the living room. There's the sound of the front door being pulled open, "We just…go to bed, a-and act like nothing's happened, try to live like Jin's n-not out there?"

The cop sighs, "I'm very sorry, Kusanagi-san, truly. I promise you we are going to find your son. As for now…get some rest, try to get some of your energy back up for tomorrow. You've both had a long day. We will keep you updated on anything we find out."

With that, Shoichi hears the door close.

The second the lock clicks, his mother lets out a high pitched wail, followed by the sound of something thumping on the ground; presumably his mother sinking onto her knees. Her cries are loud and harsh, like they choke the very breath out of her.

Shoichi swallows painfully, the lump in his throat almost burning, and more tears fall from his own eyes as the utter helplessness of the atmosphere swirls around him, cloaking him in its aura of anguish, the sound of his mother and father's cries settling on both his shoulders like giant weights. He sucks in a sob that threatens to escape and runs up to his room, unable to take the feeling like he's about to be sucked under any longer.

His heart does a painful leap into his throat when he catches a glimpse at Jin's room, dark and unoccupied.

He lays in bed that night, unable to sleep. He stares at the ceiling, hundreds of thousands of thoughts swirling in his mind, everything going back to the fact that his little brother is missing.

His brother is missing.

 _His_ brother. Jin- sweet, innocent, playful, naïve Jin- is missing. And nobody knows where he could be. Or who is responsible. Or how they're going to find him.

What if he's hurt? What if he's lost and in trying to find his way back, only put more distance between him and home? What if it's too late-

 _Don't_ , Shoichi bit at his mind. He refuses to go there- partly because he's afraid that if he dares to think it, it will come true.

After hours of not making a single peep, a lone whimper finally leaves Shoichi, a pained sound in the dark room. His eyes burn with a new batch of tears, and they make his ears itch as they trail down the sides of his face into them. Snot starts to gather up in his nose, and there's a painful ache in his chest that feels like someone has just knocked the wind out of him.

His mind replays his last conversation with Jin in his head.

Jin asked if he wanted to go with him. He said no.

If Shoichi had gone, could this all have been prevented? Maybe he would've seen Jin being taken, or noticed someone suspicious lurking around the park, or be close enough he could've drawn him away.

But he didn't. And now his six year brother is missing.

The emotion boils and bubbles up inside of him until Shoichi finds he can't hold it in anymore.

He cries himself into a restless sleep, where nightmares of the most horrible haunt him for the rest of the night.

* * *

A week goes by, and Jin still hasn't been found.

They try to go about life as best as they can, but it's near impossible when every second and every little thing serves as a grim reminder there's someone missing to complete their family.

Shoichi's been away from school for that amount of time, and the next week his father makes him go back, although he doesn't pester him about his grades or his poor test scores like he would when everything was okay. The teachers still mark him off and circle the failing numbers of his total amount of points in bright red ink, but they make a point to leave him alone.

His classmates and friends alike approach him and offer their condolences, tell him that if there's anything they can do to let them know, and that if he ever wants to "talk" he can go to them, but it's not enough. It does nothing to ease his pain or the agony of not knowing that claws at him daily.

 _Can you make this all better?_ He wants to ask them, _Can you bring my brother back to me and make this all go away?_

But he doesn't. He doesn't say anything. Instead, he just sits there, and let's their false sense of comfort and fake attempts at wanting to assist wash over him like the rain that pours from the sky that day, as if nature is trying to match his mood.

Then one week turns into two.

Then two weeks to three.

Three weeks becomes a month.

He's never seen their father pray before, but now it's become a routine for him every night when he thinks Shoichi and his mother are in bed. Before he knows it, Shoichi starts doing it too. He sits in front of the family kamidana and stops by the shrine in their town whenever he's out with friends and dumps all the saisen that he has into the offertory box and prays to whoever is up above for a sign that tomorrow will be the day, that the next morning when he wakes up and goes downstairs, he's going to find his little brother back at his usual place in the dining room, shuffling through his cards like he ought to be.

But it never comes true. The hope that's beating in his chest whenever he wakes up and looks to see Jin's room still untouched down the hall.

Shoichi's mother has all but become a ghost of herself on. She hardly ever makes a sound anymore, her attention never quite there on what her eyes focus on, and she goes about like she's sleepwalking, her face a passive, unreadable mask, as if she's become a zombie, someone's puppet controlled by black magic. She still takes care of the house and goes to work and make sure he's taken care of, but she treats him now like he's barely there. Like she's afraid to look at him, as if looking at him will make him disappear like Jin has.

Shoichi can't blame her. He's had those same fears too.

As the days drag on, and the next month rolls over without even an update as to Jin's possible whereabouts, Shoichi starts to feel numb. The pain is still there, but now it's become a more of a dull ache, a broken bone that's never healed. It's become a part of him, and there's nothing he can do to get rid of it.

The only thing that can stop it is Jin coming back to him, but with every day that begins and ends, the thought becomes only a dream that is slipping further and further away from him.

* * *

Six months later, things finally change.

They're all sitting at the table one night, eating their dinner in silence- as they have been ever since they had to go the first night without Jin being there to join them- there's a sudden, rapid knocking at the front door.

Shoichi's parents get up to meet whoever has done it. His mother tells him to stay at his seat, but Shoichi is curious and trails after them, peaking from around the corner from where the countertops hide his figure.

His father opens the door, and his heart leaps at the sight of the familiar colors of navy blue of a police officer's uniform.

If the police are here, then that must mean…

A steady excited humming starts building in his chest. He feels a bubble of hope inflate inside of him.

Could it be…?

It just as quickly pops, however, when he catches sight of the grim expression that the officer is wearing on his face.

A pregnant pauses passes between the adults. His parents are still and silent, probably just as anxious about why they're here as he is. The silence is deafening and for a few maddening seconds, Shoichi feels like he's about to burst.

The officer just says one thing, but it's enough.

"We found him."

* * *

The hospital is loud and the walls are a blinding bright white and the smell of disinfectant and sterilizing fluid are so strong it turns his stomach and makes him dizzy, but Shoichi barely pays these any attention as they shuffle through the crowded hallways. He hangs onto his mother's hand tightly as he stumbles behind his parents, struggling to keep up with them with his small legs as they take long, hurried strides, all of them anxious to see Jin again.

The doctor walks besides his parents, talking to them about Jin's condition and other things. Shoichi tries to listen in, but he keeps tripping whenever he falls out of sync with his mom and his attention is constantly diverted whenever he has to right himself again.

He catches bits and pieces, but not enough for it to really make sense to his ten year old mind. Words like "malnutrition" and "neuropathy" bounce around in his mind as his brain searches for any remembrance on what they mean, only to come up empty.

He's also too preoccupied with the fact that Jin is in this hospital.

After six long, grueling months of having disappeared without a trace, his little brother has been found. Shoichi will finally get to see him again, just as he began to believe all his hoping and praying was for naught.

His heart hammers in his chest at the thought. A mix of fear and relief swims through his veins.

What happened?

Where did they finally find him?

Who did it?

Why isn't anyone telling him anything?

"…five other children were also found," he hears the doctor mutter to his parents, "Based on their examinations, it seems that the methods used on him were a universal one for whatever the culprits were trying to achieve."

"Dear God," Shoichi's father hisses, "Who would do such a thing to a child?"

"B-But they'll be okay, right?" his mother asks in a panicked voice, "H-He won't need any long term surgery or anything?"

The doctor answers, "He does have some scarring from the electrocutions, and he'll eventually need his feeding tube taken out, but aside from that and some bruising, his physical health should make a full recovery. However, I'm more concerned with the psychological trauma."

They continue to talking, but Shoichi gets distracted as the hall suddenly crowds up. It's big and wide, but now there's tons of policemen at this end. They talk with the nurses and take notes on whatever they're told. The rooms at this end are all open, and some of the policemen are inside, talking to the patients. Other adults that aren't in uniform talk outside as well, and Shoichi guesses their parents. Some of them have the same teary expression as his mom.

Shoichi leans back to look into one of them. He catches glimpse of a boy curled up in one of the beds, which looks way too big for him. He looks around Jin's age. His eyes are screwed shut in what looks to be a very bad dream, and his hair is a weird mix of navy and electric blue and hot pink, his bangs set jaggedly on his temple.

"…no word on any family," he hears the nurse that stands outside the boy's room say to one of her colleagues, "But there's no previous record of any orphanage keeping him, either. It's like the parents just disappeared."

Shoichi starts to wonder if they're talking about the kid with the weird hair, but he's snapped out of it as his parents finally come to a halt.

He looks up over his father's shoulder to see they're standing outside a door to a hospital room. His mother pulls him so that he now stands between them, her hands on his shoulders in a tight, anxious grip. He looks up at the doctor. The doctor towers over him, and his expression is grim.

"Just remember, he's been through a lot," he says softly as he grasps the handle, "He may not react the way you'd expect him to."

Shoichi looks up to see his father nod his head impatiently. They're all anxious to see Jin, to finally lay their eyes on him and hug him and have him back to their family.

The doctor gives them a smile full of pity before he finally turns the knob and opens the door.

"If anything happens or you have any concerns, please don't hesitate to use the call button," he says, holding it open with his arm.

Shoichi's mother grabs for his hand again. He holds on tightly, the both of them squeezing each other's digits like it's for dear life. They start forward, and in only a few seconds a billion scenarios run through Shoichi's head of what Jin now looks like and how he's going to react to seeing them again.

None of them prepare him for the person that sits across from him.

Jin is sitting up in the hospital bed, the covers of which are pulled up over his lap. He sits in the middle, looking tiny against the wide size of the mattress and the vast expanse of the room. He's dressed in a hospital gown that has short sleeves, allowing the IV he's hooked up to to be seen. There's a small tube going into his left nostril that's taped to his cheek.

He's thinner, so the gown hangs slightly off his shoulders. His cheeks aren't as plump as Shoichi remembers them, and they make his eyes look slightly sunken in. His fingers looks like small little twigs, the skin stretched over his knobby knuckles like it's paper thin. There's a giant red scar marring his right arm, circling around his elbow and going halfway down his forearm; a horrifically intricate pattern that reminds Shoichi like that of ferns, bright carmine fractals circling around and chasing down Jin's delicate flesh. His hair has grown longer, and brittle. It hangs down in Jin's face like sheepdog, his bangs brushing the bridge of his nose.

His eyes are the most haunting feature of all. The gauntness of his face makes them seem even larger, and they stare down at his lap, unseeing, as if he were blind. Dark grey irises once sparkling with childhood innocence are dulled, empty and lifeless like a statue. It reminds Shoichi of the old war movies he and his dad sometimes watch- the soldiers in them would get the same expression whenever they had to kill, or they had just seen their comrades die right in front of them.

The thought that Jin has this expression right now, that he may have gone through something similar, makes Shoichi feels sick.

For a moment, none of them move. They all just stare at Jin, while he continues to stare down. He doesn't even give a hint of acknowledgment towards them. Except for his breathing, he doesn't even move.

Their mother is the one to make the first move. She lets go of Shoichi's hand and trudges over to Jin, her heels making a thick steady clack on the tile. She slowly kneels down beside Jin, looking up at him with watery eyes, although she wears a small smile on her face. Jin doesn't look at her.

She gently rests her hand on top of his, testing the waters, before she takes it into her hold.

"Hello, sweetheart," she says softly, "Do you remember me? It's me, it's Mama."

Jin doesn't reply. He just keeps staring at the sheets, his eyes wide and frightened like a deer in headlights. Their mother persists, though, and whispers soothing attempts to try and bring him out of his trance. She rubs his hand and his back, making small talk even though from the lack of response on Jin's part, she might as well not even be there. Soon, their dad goes over to join them, sitting on the side of the bed. He puts a hand on Jin's shoulder and smiles at him as he talks.

Shoichi just stands there, staring at this…this _shell_ of his little brother. It's like he's been turned to stone; Jin doesn't blink, or twitch, or do anything that shows he's there.

And maybe he's not there. Not mentally, anyway. His body may be, but maybe he's off somewhere in his head, somewhere he's gone to escape whatever he's been put through in the last six months…

Their mother lifts her head and beckons him over. Shoichi hesitates, before he slowly makes his way to where she's holding her arm out for him. His feet feel like they've been tied with lead weights.

He goes over to his mother's side; she looks back at Jin with a hopeful expression.

"Look, sweetie, Shoichi is here, too," she says, squeezing Jin's hand, "You remember your brother, don't you? You remember Aniki?"

Shoichi swallows hard, and forces himself to slide onto the side of the bed. He tries putting his best smile, and thinks he should say something.

"H-Hey Jin," he says.

At first, nothing happens. Jin continues to stare down at the sheets, the only movements coming from him being the steady rise and fall of his chest.

But then, his hands twitch.

Jin slowly lifts his head.

Shoichi's heart clenches painfully in his chest as he looks up and finally at him. Except…no, not at him. Jin's gaze is hollow. It's more like he's looking through Shoichi. Like he sees him, but at the same time, he doesn't.

"See? You recognize your big brother, don't you?" their mom continues, her smile strained like it pains her to do so, but there's still a little sparkle of hope in her eyes as she rubs Jin's back soothingly.

Jin doesn't respond. He just continues to stare at Shoichi, unblinking and giving no hint as to whatever his emotions may be at this time. Shoichi swallows again, trying to find something to say, but the pain of seeing his brother in this state- so, so _lifeless_ \- makes all the words die in his throat.

His parents take over for him, and they continue talking to Jin and giving him little attempts of comfort, all though it doesn't seem to be working. Jin just continues to stare ahead with his blank face. Shoichi has found himself unable to contribute any further, unnerved by his brother's actions. He has found that the relief that had originally flooded him earlier that night has left him and has been replaced by enormous dread.

Jin may be here physically in this bed, but now Shoichi doubts if his brother has really been found after all.

* * *

"H-Hey, Jin, h-how are you doing today?" Shoichi asks, peaking in from behind the door a little.

Jin doesn't respond. Not that Shoichi expects him to.

It's been a few weeks since Jin's been released from the hospital and allowed to come back home. He's still the same that he was at the hospital. He still isn't talking, and he doesn't really express how he feels besides the same hollow stare. He hardly responds to anything in the environment, really. His movements are mechanical and robotic, like he's more of an automaton moving about than someone actually being present. Maybe it's safer, there, in his head.

The only kind of reaction they actually get is whenever food is present. Jin goes at his plate like a ravaged hyena, wolfing it down faster than he seems to breathe. The first night he came home, he actually ate so fast he made himself puke. He hasn't done it since, luckily, but he still acts like whatever meal's put in front of him will be his last.

Perhaps that's how it was, wherever he was taken to. Shoichi wouldn't know. A part of him wants to, just to fully understand how bad it as, but another part of him is scared of knowing the extent of just how bad things got for Jin. The nightmares that end with him screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night give him a good enough clue.

Or maybe it's just cowardice. He never has truly forgiven himself for not going with Jin the day he disappeared.

Jin's sitting on his bed, like he has been ever since he came home, his knees brought up to his chest, and his hands on top of them. He presses his lips to them, staring out just over the tops into space.

He doesn't respond to Shoichi's question, though his eyes slowly lift to look at him. Shoichi nods like that's good enough, and slides into the room, shutting the door behind him.

"O-Okay, not in the mood for talking, that's fine," he says, as if Jin's silence hasn't persisted ever since they first reunited, "I-I was just wondering if…if you felt like going to the game shop with me today. M-maybe…maybe we could get you a new deck, since your last one got…got lost."

Jin's fingers clench on his knees. Shoichi almost misses it.

He doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing, but it's at least _something_ , so he decides to press further.

"Yeah, maybe we could switch it up some," he continues, "Buy you a new one. Or build off the old one, if you'd like that. Maybe we could duel together. Actually, I still have one of your cards."

He reaches into his pants pocket and holds the monster card out to Jin. He hopes maybe this might do the trick.

Jin sucks in a breath. He stiffens up. His fingernails dig into the fabric of his pants. He glances at the card. His eyes widen, and he grows pale, like Shoichi's just offered him a venomous snake.

Shoichi lowers his hand, surprised. Jin bows his head and makes a low sound. It's a kind of humming sound, little groans through his lips that steadily grow in volume. He sounds frantic, and starts to rock back and forth.

"Jin?"

The rocking becomes faster. The humming sounds more distressed and panicky. Shoichi's brow furrows in concern, and he reaches for him.

"Jin, what…what's wrong-"

Jin screams.

He slaps his hand away, knocking the card out of his hand. Shoichi falls back in surprise, holding his hand to his chest as he stares at his brother in shock.

He keeps screaming- blood curdling, high pitched screams like that of a dying animal. He puts his hands over his ears, screwing his eyes shut as he continues to screech. He kicks at Shoichi wildly, before falling into his side where he curls into a ball.

Shoichi stares, frozen at his brother's reaction. He breaks out of his trance at the sound of his parents coming up the stairs. He blinks as they burst into Jin's room, his mother grabbing him and quickly leading him out as his father goes towards Jin to calm him down, the latter still screaming and thrashing.

"What on Earth happened?" his mother asks him.

Shoichi swallows hard, guilt wallowing up inside of him. He bites his lip.

"I just…I just asked if he wanted to go to the card shop," he says with a thick voice, "I…I thought if he saw the cards again, he'd…I-I-I didn't know what else to do…"

His mom gives him a small pitiful smile, tears coming to her own eyes. She brings him into an embrace and strokes his hair.

"Oh, dear, it's not your fault," she says to him, "You were only trying to help him."

She says as much, but it feels like his fault. It was because he brought up dueling that Jin's now screaming his head off, having a panic attack.

He only wanted to help, and somehow he only ends up making things so much worse.

* * *

"We can't send him away!" Shoichi exclaims. He slams his hands on the table top as he does so, shooting his parents a look of disbelief.

The three of them are sitting around the table. Jin is upstairs, asleep (or, he is for now; it's become the norm in their house for him to wake up screaming at least once every night). His parents both sit at the other end of the table, their faces lined and shadowed with stress and exhaustion. They don't seem surprised at his reaction. Shoichi's mother reaches to take his hand, but he pulls back, still reeling over what they've just told him.

"This is what's best for him, son," his father says, "With the hospital's help, Jin might finally be able to get the recovery he needs."

Shoichi shakes his head, refusing to believe what he's hearing. His parents had told him earlier that they had something they needed to discuss with him, but he never imagined this.

"But-But he won't be here," he interjects, "He won't be living with us, a-and instead he'll be t-there, with tons of strangers and people he doesn't know. How…how will that be any different than when he was missing?!"

His parents' eyes bulge out at the statement. They give each other a worrying look, before Dad sighs and purses his lips together. He moves his chair closer to Shoichi, before taking his hand in his. His father's hand is large and dry, warm and rough with callouses. He looks up into his father's eyes, which are the same shade of gun metal grey as his own.

"Shoichi," his father says in a soft voice, "We're not doing this because we think Jin is a bother- nor would we _ever_ think that. To be completely honest, I don't like having to do this myself.

"But your brother…" he pauses, "Your brother has been through things. Terrible, horrible things that obviously have left their mark on him. You can see how deeply it's affected him. And he needs help. Help to figure out how to deal with what happened, sources for learning how to cope with his trauma, which is something that we…we can't provide for him."

Shoichi pouts, "We're his family."

His father gives him a sad smile, like the statement is breaking his heart. "That we are. But sometimes, family isn't enough to take the pain away. We can be there for him and let him know we love him, but Jin needs people who can teach him properly, who know how to deal with situations like this that we don't. And that means that maybe….maybe it's best that he not be around all this stimuli, all these things that can trigger him.

"Jin deserves to be able to live without being constantly reminded of what he went through," he further explains, "But we don't know how to do that ourselves, Shoichi. Wouldn't that be selfish of us, to keep him here but make him suffer in his silence, just because he's home?"

Shoichi bites his lip. He understands where his dad is coming from, but he still can't shake the guilty feeling like they're giving up on Jin. Like he's some sort of shameful secret that they need to hide away so other people won't know.

His mother seems to read his thoughts, because she adds in, "And we won't just leave him there. We'll visit him every weekend! Starting right from the moment he checks in!"

It only makes him feel a little bit better. Maybe his dad is right, and these doctors and whoever else are in this place can understand the root of what sets Jin off and can be better be able to figure out how to change this than they can.

Maybe there's the chance this all ends up blowing right up in their faces and Jin ends up even more traumatized and far beyond the point of no return.

"I know this is a lot to take in, and it's going to be hard on all of us," his father says after a few minutes of silence, "But this is for the best. Jin's recovery isn't going to progress if he doesn't have the resources to teach him. We can't do this on our own."

Shoichi nods half-heartedly. He stares down at the table, his hands balled up tightly in his lap. He swallows down the lump in his throat and blinks back tears, before slowly looking back up to his parents.

"When…when will he be leaving?" he asks hesitantly.

"In a few weeks, give or take. We plan on telling him tomorrow, with his therapist present," his father answers, "It will help him, Shoichi."

Shoichi mutters an 'I know that' but he still doesn't quite believe it. He doesn't want to just hand Jin over to strangers. For all he knows, they could be the same type of people who are the reason Jin is like this in the first place. But nothing they've done so far is working. He bites his lip when he thinks back to the episode with the monster card, the way Jin freaked out and screamed himself hoarse and acted like he had just been put back in whatever hell he had been put through these last long, horrible six months.

All he can do is hope for the best.

Hope for the best and pray that Jin forgives him if this all comes to be something they'll regret for the rest of their lives.

* * *

Over the next few years, him and his parents visit Jin every weekend at the institution. Sometimes they catch a break and can even visit him during the work week. They always try to bring him something- his favorite food that their mother's cooked, his favorite books, the plush bear he's slept with ever since he was a baby- even though he still doesn't respond much to their interactions.

Shoichi's made a point to not bring up dueling. From what happened that one time in Jin's bedroom to the few other times he's slipped up, it quickly became clear to him that whatever horrible things Jin was put through, dueling had something to do with it.

Doing so makes his heart hurt for his brother, only because he remembers how much Jin used to love dueling, and now to see him so afraid of it…

"I brought you some coloring books," Shoichi says, pulling the aforementioned items out of his bag.

Jin sits across from him at the small table that's in his room. He stares at Shoichi blankly, his hands in his lap. Their parents are outside, talking with a doctor.

"I read somewhere that they've found coloring helps ease anxiety, so I thought maybe they could help you?" he says, placing the books and a case of colored pencils on the table.

Jin just looks down at them, before shifting his gaze back to Shoichi. He blinks.

Well, it's _something_ , he supposes.

Shoichi looks back towards the door. It's awkward, talking to his brother alone. He gets uncomfortable with the way Jin just stares at him, and he can never find the right words to say.

"So, um, your birthday's coming up," he changes the subject, "Is there anything you want?"

No answer. Not that he really expects anything else.

He sighs in frustration. The silence is driving him crazy. Not that he's mad at Jin. He could never be mad at his little brother for something that wasn't his fault.

No, that's directed towards the bastards who played with his brother's innocence and shattered it beyond repair. Shattered it so badly that even three years later, it still weighs heavily on Jin, the wound still fresh and rubbed raw, never to fully heal.

He feels his fists clench on the table and makes himself relax them. No need to cause his brother to have a meltdown and get himself kicked out. Instead, he cautiously looks back over his shoulder towards the door.

The words he's been wanting to say dangle on the tip of his tongue. He has to make sure his parents won't hear him, though. Or else they'd get mad at him, accuse him of trying to rile Jin up. Seeing that they're still out of earshot, he turns back towards Jin.

Shoichi's been doing some research of his own lately. He's been browsing the news archives over the last few years, trying to find details of the kidnapping and the possible resolution. It's always bothered him that he's never been told exactly what happened after Jin and the other kids were found. How long did the trial go on for? Did his parents attend? Who exactly was responsible for it all? What was their sentence like? He thought it was kind of weird that he never heard anything in the news about it. Jin's missing persons report was on the local news, but after that, he can't remember any further updates.

Which only makes him more suspicious when he looks up the case, only to find there's not a single article about it. As if it never happened.

" _But who did it?"_ he remembers asking his mother, " _Did they even catch him? Or is he-they- whoever it was, still out there? For all we know, they could be planning another-"_

" _Stop it,"_ she had scolded him, " _What if your brother overhears you? He doesn't need you to put those kinds of thoughts into his head."_

Thinking back to it, he's starting to believe she probably didn't have the answers either.

And that bothers him.

It's not right. How does the kidnapping and torture of six kids just go unnoticed? Why is nobody talking about this? He feels as Jin's brother and family, he has the right to know. And if he's not going to get the answers, then he'll find them himself.

Even if it means going a little…outside the limits of the law.

He's not stupid, though. He knows to be careful. He's been reading up all he can about hacking and protecting your IP address and putting up firewalls and all that. He has to be careful, but he's not going to stop.

He going to get to the bottom of this, and there is not a person alive who will stand in his way.

"I'm going to find them, Jin," he says lowly, just loud enough for only him to hear, "I'm going to find out who was behind all of this. The kidnapping, the methods, everything. I'm going to find them and bring them to justice."

Jin's head perks up at the statement. His eyes widen slightly. It's a small reaction, but it's enough to let him know that Shoichi's got his attention.

"No one's talking about it. Not Mom or Dad, not the news, and not the police," he says further, "Someone's hiding something about it all, and I'm determined to find out who and what is behind it all."

He reaches to take Jin's hand. It's small and clammy in his own.

"I promise, I _will_ find out who did this to you, Jin," he states, "No matter what, we _will_ get justice. You have my word."

Jin's eyes widen further, and he almost looks a bit scared at the statement. His gaze grows shiny with tears. For a moment, Shoichi becomes worried he's pushed him into a panic attack.

But then he feels Jin squeeze his hand. His grip is tight and clenched, like he's holding on for dear life. Shoichi looks up in surprise. Jin has tears in his eyes, and his jaw is clenched, his lips quivering.

Jin's listening. He's heard him. He understands him.

And he trusts him.

Shoichi nods, and squeezes back in an attempt of comfort.

"I'll get to the bottom of this. I promise."

* * *

It's not an easy task, hacking.

The movies and books make it seem ridiculously easy. Like you just type at a rapid pace and you're instantly into the network, like anyone could do it. But the world wide web is a complex place, and like the streets, you have to be prepared or else you're in danger- it's all about knowing what to spot, what's the best escape route when things go up in flames, where to look and how to get your way past. There's a lot of numbers and little time. One wrong placement when changing the binary code, and you could land yourself straight into the police's hand.

Shoichi learns, though. He knows this isn't going to be nearly as simple as just punching a few keys and then getting access to every classified document known to man, so he takes precaution; no way is he letting himself get caught over the stupidest mistakes. He keeps his software updated and his passwords several characters long, he has software installed that prevents the use of cookies or the right to use his own data. He does frequent scans for viruses and stays away from any site that has the hints to holding malware- ads, surveys, third party websites.

When he first started, he also had to make sure to clear his internet history when he got done, and only did it when he knew his parents were out of the house or asleep. It gets a little easier to do once he gets a laptop of his own.

He keeps Jin updated on one he finds, which, truth be told, isn't much. Whoever was in charge of the investigation of the kidnapping has done a frustratingly masterful job of keeping everything under lock and key. But Shoichi persists. He's able to get into the police database and find field reports that list the location Jin was found at. From there, he's come upon what seems to be the archives that list each of the victims involved, and works to find out the names of the other victims. He doesn't expect to find anything particularly useful, but there may be a pattern in their profiles that could suggest why they were taken and what their connections might be that may suggest something in common.

Then, his father dies.

It occurs shortly after Shoichi's eighteenth birthday, when fall is on its last days of the season and the leaves are steadily falling off the trees in preparation for winter.

A heart attack at work, their mom says.

"The doctor says it was probably from all the overworking he's been doing," she adds in quietly one night as she sits in the living room by herself.

Shoichi stands in the doorway, behind her. She doesn't turn to face him, but somehow she could tell he was there. All the lights in the living room are turned off, and she sits in the loveseat facing the television, her hands on either sides of the armrests. Shoichi nods, although she can't see his reaction. The way she's acting is making him nervous.

"He was trying to find out who did it, you know," his mom continues, "The police never told us about any suspects they had, or if there were even any charges that would be pressed. Your dad tried to call them, but after a while, they just stopped responding.

"We…all we got was a big lump sum finally in the bank. They wouldn't tell us who it was from, but suddenly, it was there. Your dad thought whoever gave it did as a bribe to try and keep us quiet," she explains.

Shoichi pauses. His mouth falls open in shock.

"He thought…he thought if he could find out and at least let people _know_ who was behind it all, then maybe…maybe that could help Jin's state," her voice is thick and cracking, and Shoichi can dimly see her fingers clench on the armrests.

Something tightens in his chest.

His dad…was also trying to find out? They weren't just willfully ignorant, and didn't know either? They were…he wasn't alone in his search for the truth?

His mother rambles on, "He became consumed with it. It hurt him, seeing Jin like that, you know? To see him just sit there, too scared and lost in his own mind to be able to enjoy life anymore. He wanted to know exactly who deserved the blame. H-He wouldn't stop, wouldn't sleep or eat, he just kept-"

She cuts herself off with a sob. For a moment, Shoichi doesn't know what to do. He feels like he should comfort her, but he doesn't know what to say or do that could possibly make her feel any better. He's also too shocked by the revelation that his dad was pursuing the same thing he was, and apparently was so determined that he let it consume him until it literally killed him, to make a move.

Instead, he just gulps and turns without a word, leaving his mother to her grief.

When Shoichi first got the news, he felt like he had lost all means of going on. He cried his eyes out until the skin around them was puffy and raw and snot was running down his nose, he barely slept or ate, and he's gone about the last few days in a fog, barely registering the things going on around him with his thoughts consumed about the fact that his father is gone.

Now, though, as he treks up the stairs, his resolve doesn't crumble like it has been.

Instead, it hardens and reinforces itself, bending and shaping itself into a new mold like it's wrought iron. Shoichi grits his teeth and clenches his fists. His heart beats wildly in his chest. A wave of determination comes over him, his thoughts forming tunnel vision as he becomes set on one thing and one thing only.

Now, more than ever, is he determined to find the person responsible for the kidnapping and bring them into the public eye. He refused to let them hide away in safety. Let the world know the atrocious things this person- or people, even- afflicted onto innocent children, let them see how they broke down his brother and twisted him into someone unrecognizable.

His father started this search.

And Shoichi will be the one to finish it.

* * *

Two years later, their mother dies as well.

The fact that it's now just him and Jin only makes Shoichi push forward even harder in his quest for the truth. He stays up late every night typing at his laptop, his eyes burning with dryness as they stay glued to his laptop screen, his fingers flying over the keys as he types in codes and evades cyber bugs and sets up security as he plunges into the deep web, preparing for the worst and easing his way into every nook and cranny that he thinks will give him a lead.

He finds out that both him and Jin have been left quite a lot of inheritance money from the will, which interests him as to how his folks racked up so much. They've lived decently, but they were by no means high society.

Then it makes him think of what his mom said after his dad died about the strange amount of money that was deposited in their bank account directly after Jin was found, and it makes almost not want to accept any of it.

But he does. He puts most of it away in savings- because becoming Jin's guardian also means becoming keeper of all his medical bills and the monthly cost of the institution's services- while he keeps a tiny portion to buy an old RV. He renovates it, deciding to use it as a food truck slash mobile home.

(Probably not the ideal career his parents had in mind, but it's either that or put his hacking skills to professional, albeit not quite legal use in the underground parts of the city. Besides, he's always kind of wanted a job with cooking).

So eventually, that becomes his life: he spends the days serving hot dogs and fast food to workers on their lunch breaks and schoolkids deciding they didn't want to settle for cafeteria food, and at night when he's shut down, he breaks into the internet archives and browses redacted documents for information. He's not always lucky, though, so there are many nights where he stays up until five in the morning only to come up empty handed. He becomes a bit of a recluse over time, dropping former friends and distant family, until Jin's really the only person he keeps in contact with…which, considering how Jin is, isn't really saying much.

Shoichi doesn't care, though.

If finding what he needs to finally bring Jin back to him meant cutting off his left hand, he'd do it in a heartbeat.

* * *

"You sure about this?" Shoichi asks from his seat, looking over the screen with an eyebrow raised, "I get going incognito and all that, but this whole 'plugging your conscious-in thing' seems a little risky. This whole network, in fact, sounds like it's a problem waiting to happen."

"VRAINS is the closest access we'll have to getting inside sources on our own without having to rely on third parties," Yusaku replies, not looking away as he types at his keyboard, "The easier it is for us to get into chat rooms without having to sign up and give away our IPs, the better."

"Uh-huh, and I suppose this whole supersuit getup is a way to protect from bots?" Shoichi asks in slight amusement as he takes in the design of Yusaku's avatar and the way he's edited it so that his hair is some kind of tropical mess of yellow and orange.

Yusaku blushes and lowers his head. He mutters, "The less they can try and put a face to me, the better. It's not like we want to attract attention to ourselves"

"Right, 'cause I'm sure you're soooo good at blending in with that mess on your head," Shoichi snorts, eyeing the younger's bright blue and magenta highlights.

Yusaku frowns, but doesn't respond, though there's still a slight pinkness to his cheeks.

Shoichi smirks, though he quickly lets it drop as he looks at Yusaku out of the corner of his eye.

He's able to hide it well, but Shoichi can still see the signs evident in Yusaku's body language as he works. He keeps his upper arms pressed tightly to his sides like he's squeezed in a container, his shoulders hitched up like he's expecting to be struck. His fingers are fast and hard on the digital keyboard, his fingertips jabbing the keys like he wants to smash them. There's a slight hardness in his light green eyes.

Shoichi feels a twinge of pity towards him. He doesn't know what he was expecting when he first got the e-mail initialed 'YF' last month, but Yusaku Fujiki has definitely gone beyond whatever preconceived notions he's had.

His letter was short and direct, and all he's let Shoichi know about him is that he just turned sixteen, lives on his own- whether he's an orphan or got himself emancipated, Shoichi doesn't know, and Yusaku refuses to tell him any more- and is going to Den City High School (which Shoichi quickly made clear to him that despite what they do, he will _continue_ to go, no if's, and's or buts).

He's also kind of an asshole, if Shoichi's honest; the kid has zero filter, and doesn't hold back for anything, saying the first thing that's on his mind. He doesn't smile and likes to get directly to the point, and he has a temper like that of an agitated hornet's nest. Not that Shoichi really has room to talk, though, because his is just as bad.

Yusaku's also one of the other kids that, like Jin, was kidnapped ten years ago and put through hell non-stop for six months.

And like Shoichi, he's looking for answers.

And revenge.

Because unlike Jin, Yusaku didn't just shut out the trauma or turn his emotions off. Instead, he's become motivated by the hate that drives him, the primal hunger to find out who destroyed his childhood and make them pay for everything they've taken from him driving him to hacking, just like Shoichi.

The thought of it, honestly, makes Shoichi sad for him at times.

He's just a kid- the fact that him and Jin are the same age makes Shoichi feel even guiltier- and he's been through more stuff than some military veterans have. It's pretty clear, too, that he's still traumatized by it. He doesn't talk to Shoichi about it, but he's stayed the night in the truck sometimes, and Shoichi's been woken up plenty of times in the middle of the night to recognize the gasp and panting that comes with nightmares. He does the same thing with his food that Jin used to do, too, keeping it close to him at times like it's about to be snatched from him.

He's got the weight of the world on his shoulders, and the only way he feels he can get rid of it is the call for blood.

Not that Shoichi has any right to talk, because he desires vengeance just as much.

Now, they're busy creating an avatar so Yusaku can officially explore the world of LINK VRAINS, and therefor they can dig deeper into the net. It cost an arm and a leg to set up the tech for log-in system in his truck, but neither of them trust the public networks. If anything were to go wrong, it takes just one person with a photographic memory, or one camera on a security system, for them to get recognized and have all their hardwork go straight down the crapper.

"Just one…more…and…done," Yusaku announces, leaning back in his seat.

He looks at Shoichi, "Do you think we should give it a test run, just to make sure there's no bugs?"

Shoich looks over at the finished avatar. He raises a brow at the selected name.

" 'Playmaker?' " he asks.

"It's the best I could come up with, give me a break," Yusaku says.

Shoichi holds up his hands passively, before turning back towards his own screen. He grabs at the mouse, clicking out the various windows before bringing one up that allows him to see the current activity of LINK VRAINS.

"Ready when you are," he says.

He hears Yusaku get out of his seat and trod over to the room in which the log-in system for LINK VRAINS has been installed. He hears the door shut, and a second later he hears Yusaku announce " _Into the VRAINS!"_ before the steady hum of the software buzzes to life.

As that happens, a feeling of doubt comes over Shoichi.

Is it truly right, what he's doing?

He knows Yusaku came to him by his own choice, but at the same time, should he really be encouraging this, letting a sixteen year old into the deep throws and bowls of the internet, possibly putting himself in danger, to advance his own goals? Yusaku's still got his own issues to work out, what with what he's gone through, and Shoichi's read up on PTSD plenty of times to know if something happens- just one small hint that makes Yusaku thinks about the incident, just the smallest of reminders- that they'll be screwed in an instant. Is this really right, for him to encourage this kid to put himself and his already fragile wellbeing in the line of fire just so he can get what he wants?

What if Jin was in this same position?

 _They took everything from me,_ Yusaku said bitterly the night of their first meeting, _People think I should be over it by now because of therapy and meds and all that, but I…I can't forget. It's ALWAYS there. Everywhere I fucking go, I get reminded of it. I can't move on because it won't_ let _me move on._

No, he can't falter now.

He wants this just as much as Yusaku does.

He _needs_ this, just as much as Yusaku does.

They've been put through absolute hell for the past ten years, and are still being put through it- him, Jin, Yusaku, whoever those other four kids are that for sure have suffered the effects of their ordeal. Yusaku's right, he can't walk away from it. Jin certainly hasn't been able to walk away from it.

And if they can't, neither should the bastards who put them in this position in the first place.

He owes that much to Jin and his parents.

" _Kusanagi...Kusanagi_ _!"_

He's snapped out of it by the sound of Yusaku calling his name over the intercom. He looks at the screen. Yusaku's avatar is in the middle of the screen, looking around the scenery of LINK VRAINS like he might be able to see Shoichi back.

Shoichi shakes his head. "Y-Yeah, I'm here. Sorry about that."

Yusaku raises an eyebrow, " _You're not backing out on me now, are you?"_

"Of course I'm not," Shoichi responds, typing several codes into the mainframe, "Not that I have a choice, considering you're using _my_ computer."

" _Just making sure."_

"Whatever," Shoichi scoots closer to his computer, and positions his fingers over the keys, "You ready for your first day on the job, _'Playmaker?'_ "

Yusaku smirks, and climbs up on the D-board that's materialized next to him. " _As ready as I'll ever be."_

"Good. Now, according to these archives…"

* * *

 _A/N: This certainly turned out way longer than I was initially planning on it to be, but oh well._


End file.
